I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
