How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
