I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
