just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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