Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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