wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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