I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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