eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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