After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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