you didnt know i had herpes?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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