I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
