your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
