I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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