dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
