I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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