love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
