69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
