i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
