Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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