Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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