Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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