I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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