she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
