Kareoke will never be a sober sport
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
