that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
