I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
