There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Houston, we have a squirter
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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