I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
