I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
