3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
