You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
