i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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