I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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