that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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