At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
foreskin is a definite game changer
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
