Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
