My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
