you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
