I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
