we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
