i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Someone signed my nipple.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
