i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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