He told me they were just razor bumps!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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