You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
