White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
