I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My feet surprised me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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