billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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