I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
