It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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