Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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