How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
A bitchslap is in order.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
