did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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